Alone At Night In A Losing Battle
by Lupine-Sacrifice
Summary: SiriusRemus SLASH. Remus almost becomes a death eater, has stuff with them running around as animals...and has a PLOT! Next chapter coming SOON I promise!
1. Intros and Photos

Heyhey, this is Lupin_Sacrifice.  
  
This is my first Sirius/Remus fic.  
  
I wrote a Draco/Ron fic on my other account, under Scorpio Sting, if anyone cares to read it. ^^  
  
Anyway ... on with this fic. Possible fluff warning.  
  
This starts off from Remus Lupin's point of view.  
  
*** = Remus POV  
  
### = Sirius POV  
  
~~~ = Normal POV  
  
^*^*^*= Song lyrics  
  
+++++++++++++++  
  
Alone At Night In A Losing Battle  
  
+++++++++++++++  
  
***  
  
When I first truly realised what I'd become, it didn't seem real to me. But as my life went on, it became more and more a reality. I had no friends. Only my family cared for me. I guess nobody really wants to be close to you when you're a monster, a werewolf. I spent half of my nights those times crying.  
  
But at Hogwarts, there were people who wanted to be close to me. My three closest friends ... well, at least two of them were close friends.  
  
James Potter and ... Sirius Black. Also known as Prongs and Padfoot, because of their Animagi forms. The forms that they created for me. They were always my greatest friends. And now, in my sixth year, Sirius is especially close to me. He and I always seemed to connect more than James and I, though I was never sure why.  
  
***  
  
'Padfoot! Padfoot, wait up! SIRIUS!!' Remus Lupin bellowed down the corridor. Sirius Black stop abruptly and whirled around.  
  
'Remus!' He grinned. 'Sorry, I didn't hear you ... ' Remus shook his head and fell into step beside his friend as they headed towards their Transfiguration class.  
  
'What d'you reckon McGonagall's gonna make us do today?' Sirius wondered aloud.  
  
'Something practically impossible, no doubt,' Remus sighed. 'With our exams coming up, all the teachers are loading us down with work. They keep going on about our NEWT's, even though we don't even have those 'till next year.' He heaved another sigh. Sirius gave him a joking look of deep pity.  
  
After Transfiguration, they had their lunch break. Sirius and Remus met up with James and they went into the Great Hall.  
  
Remus grinned as he watched Sirius and James eat shamelessly. Sirius seemed to have inherited the eating habits of his Animagus form, a bear- like dog. James ... well, James always ate like that. Sirius was talking animatedly with his other friends, grinning his charming grin, his dark hair falling in front of his darker eyes. Remus sighed softly and seemed to drift away a little bit.  
  
'Remus, you seem awfully quiet. Is anything wrong?'  
  
Remus blinked and focused. Sirius was looking at him with some concern. He was frowning slightly, his eyebrows forming a small crease on his forehead. Remus flushed slightly and lowered his golden eyes. He shook his head, and tucked a strand of his light brown hair behind his ear. Sirius bit his lip, still a bit worried, but decided to let it go.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
You're missing something in the air  
  
I got a name but it don't matter  
  
What's going on, it's cold in here  
  
You have a life but it's torn and tattered  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Sirius sighed and looked up at the sky. 'It's such a nice day ... and the full moon's ages away,' He commented. He and Remus were lying on their backs outside on the sunny Hogwarts grounds. Their lessons were over for the day. 'It's like nothing could go wrong.'  
  
Remus looked at him. It was unlike Sirius to speak like that. Whenever he talked it was usually to say some joke or insult the Slytherins in some way. Remus didn't reply; he just nodded silently. Sirius grinned suddenly.  
  
'So, James went to go and try to get Lily Evans to go out with him? I don't know why he keeps trying, she can obviously see how ridiculously concieted he is.'  
  
Remus smiled as well. 'Maybe this time he'll be successful, you never know.' Sirius made an indistinct noise somewhere between amusement and disbelief; then he fell silent again.  
  
'Hey, check out what I've been working on,' Remus said suddenly, sitting up and pulling a notebook out of the pocket of his robes. He opened it and half a dozen moving photographs fell out of it. Sirius rolled onto his stomach to look at them. He grinned, then chuckled. The photographs were of James, Sirius and Remus at different times throughout their duration at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
'Look at this one!' Sirius said enthusiastically, pointing at one of the photographs. Remus and James were leaning on Sirius, and all three were grinning like idiots and making funny faces. Written in Remus' neat printing on the photograph was 'Say Riddikulus!'.  
  
Remus leant over the pictures to show some more to Sirius. Sirius's dark hair brushed Remus's face, and Remus pretended not to notice. They were both smiling at the pictures, all three of the photographic friends smiling up at them from each one.  
  
'See, I'm making a sort of scrapbook of us to keep, so I'll always remember,' Remus explained, smiling faintly. Sirius looked up, smiling as well.  
  
'I would never forget, anyway.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
No, that is not the end, this is a test chapter! Just to see if you readers might want me to continue. If I do, it will of course be MUCH more interesting, I promise.  
  
So review!! Should I continue or not? ^_^ 


	2. Thoughts and New Friends

REVIEWERS SO FAR:  
  
idril.tinuviel: Okay thanks so much! :) Thanks for takin' the time to read and review my story. Much appreciated. (That goes out to ALL you reviewers!)  
  
passionwriter4life: Thank you!! And thanks for reading and reviewing!  
  
Blue-Juliet: tehehe...thanks so much!!! It will definitely get more interesting, I promise! And the song is Recover Your Soul by Elton John (it's a great song I highly recommend it).  
  
ElvishJedi: I don't mind short reviews, thank you for reviewing and I'm definitely continuing. :-)  
  
Okay ... so, enough talking...er...typing. Yes. On with the story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'Padfoot! Moony! Helloo-oo... Remus? Sirius? Come back to earth!' James's voice penetrated Remus and Sirius's thoughts slowly. They were both lying on the grass, staring into each other's faces.  
  
'Wh-what?' Sirius stuttered. He looked up to see James standing over the both of them, blocking out the sunlight. 'Oh! Hey James ... er ... what's for dinner? I hope it's good, I'm starving. Remus and I were just wondering. What classes do we have tomorrow? I hope there's no potions, I hate that class ... and I'm always half-asleep ... did you know that at our age, we need an average of nine hours of sleep per night? I don't get nearly that ... '  
  
James raised an eyebrow. Sirius was gabbling like an idiot. It was most unlike him to act this way; he always had some witty comment.  
  
Remus was starting to turn slightly red. He had been silent through all of Sirius's babbling.  
  
'I think I'd better get inside ... I've got to read up on the Protean Charm,' Remus said, turning redder and hurriedly gathering up his notebook of photographs. He stuffed it hastily into his pocket and hurried up to the castle.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart  
  
You have a world but it stopped turning  
  
You lose the day and gain the dark  
  
Love was a fire but it stopped burning  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
***  
  
Oh no.  
  
He must know. He just has to, there's no way he couldn't figure it out after that ridiculous way I acted back there.  
  
I was blushing, finding excuses to get away ... I wonder if he knows that I'm head over heels about him?  
  
This is going to make me miserable. I've been deprived of love and affection ever since I was bitten. Nobody wanted to be near me ... I guess I can see why. Nobody wants to risk me biting them.  
  
I wonder if Sirius would be any different? He's one of my very best friends ... maybe my only real best friend. But how would he react to my obvious feelings for him? If he stopped being my friend ... well, I don't know what I'd do. Would I lose my heart and my soul...? Okay, so maybe that's going to extremes. But I definitely would not be very happy.  
  
***  
  
~~~  
  
'Remus? Remus, hey!' Remus turned as he heard his name being called down the corridor. He realised it was Ryanne Asher, a girl from Ravenclaw who Remus was an acquaintance with. She had always seemed rather friendly and Remus had started considering her a friend.  
  
'What's up? You look all hot and bothered.'  
  
'Oh ... nothing much, really ... ' Remus replied vaguely, his mind still out on the grounds with Sirius.  
  
'Hey, d'you wanna go for a bit of a walk with me later tonight, after dinner?' Ryanne asked casually. She flashed Remus an innocent smile through her sandy-brown hair, which fell in front of her face in a pretty sort of way. Remus smiled back, less enthusiastically, but Ryanne didn't seem to notice.  
  
'I guess that would be okay,' Remus replied, thinking that perhaps a walk with Ryanne might get his mind off of Sirius for a bit.  
  
'Great! I'll see you at around seven, then, okay?' Ryanne asked, smiling. Remus nodded. Ryanne trotted off down the corridor. Remus continued up to the Gryffindor tower. He sighed, knowing that whatever hopes Ryanne had of becoming more than friends were not going to happen. He was too hung up on Sirius ...  
  
~~~  
  
###  
  
I wonder what's wrong with Remus.  
  
He's acting just as odd as me today. When James came up when he was showing me those great photographs – and after I'd finished blathering like an idiot – he just got up and left, making excuses ...  
  
It couldn't be.  
  
He couldn't feel same as me. It's not even slightly possible. He's one of my best friends ... he'd be absolutely disgusted. I would have been ... except that just this year I've started feeling much differently. I've started noticing how deep his golden eyes are ... how good-looking, in a shy sort of way, he is when he gets all embarrassed ...  
  
What am I doing, going on about Remus? This is absolute mush ... it isn't like me.  
  
###  
  
~~~  
  
Ryanne arrived outside the Gryffindor portrait hole at exactly seven o'clock that evening. Remus climbed outside to meet her, after giving a hurried explanation to Sirius, James and Peter. He stumbled on his robes and almost fell facefirst out of the portrait hole, catching his balance just in time. He looked up at Ryanne, his face burning. She just grinned.  
  
'Come on, let's go ... there's a place I want to show you.' Ryanne took Remus by the hand and led him down corridors, chatting all the way. Remus began to warm up to her more and more as they went. She seemed very kind and bright. She was bubbly and happy, yet serious in a way. Her green eyes sparkled the whole time she talked to Remus.  
  
Suddenly Remus realised where Ryanne was leading him. They were walking through the dungeon corridors now, where torches burning in brackets were the only source of light. The firelight flickered eerily on the stone walls, and their shadows seemed strangely stretched on the wall opposite.  
  
'In here,' Ryanne said quietly, pointing to an open doorway to a dungeon room. Remus gave her a questioning look, but with a slightly twisted smile she pushed him gently into the room.  
  
It was filled with people in dark cloaks, muttering quietly to each other from beneath their hoods. They all looked up when Ryanne and Remus entered.  
  
'Welcome,' Ryanne said softly, 'to your new family.'  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Eep! Could they be early Death Eaters? I'd say it's possible, even probable. Yay. I'll post next chapter soon ... please review, tell me what you thought! More Sirius/Remus action? More plot action? More of EVERYTHING?! Reviews!! ^_^ 


	3. Walks and Rescues

Hi, sorry I've taken a while to update ... I have been sick for almost a week, therefore I couldn't go on the computer AND I had extra homework! Anyway, enough complaining. Here's the next chapter!  
  
SAVE THE REMMIE! heheheh.... ^_^;;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sirius wandered down a corridor. He was beginning to wonder where Remus was ... surely a walk with Ryanne wouldn't take quite this long.  
  
Unless they're weren't just going for a walk. There could be multiple other things they could be doing, most of which Sirius did not want to think about for many reasons. But Remus could also be in danger, of course.  
  
Sirius shook his head. What could possibly happen to Remus while he was inside the castle? For he'd informed Sirius and James that he wasn't leaving it.  
  
All the same ... Sirius was worried. He increased his pace down the corridor without knowing why. He looked down and realised that he'd reached the marble staircase leading into the Entrance Hall. His feet carried him down them, and across the empty, cavernous Hall. Sirius hesitated at the entrance to the dungeons, not sure why he would want to go down there. But he had a feeling that he should ... he couldn't explain why.  
  
***  
  
Ryanne pulled me into the dimly lit room full of cloaked, muttering figures. Their covered faces all turned towards me as I walked uncertainly into their midst. Ryanne gave me what she must have thought was an encouraging smile. It looked more like a smirk to me.  
  
***  
  
~~~~~  
  
'A new one?' A voice issued from beneath one of the hoods. Ryanne nodded. 'Voluntarily?' The voice asked.  
  
'Mostly,' Ryanne replied a trace of a grin on her face. Remus frowned slightly at her.  
  
'Who are they?' He inquired as quietly as possible.  
  
'They are my best friends, my family, my comrades,' she replied. 'There is a small group – here – that is loyal to a great power. A power greater, even, than Albus Dumbledore.'  
  
Remus shifted nervously. This did not sound good to him ... it sounded like some sort of cult, perhaps ... and what 'great power' was this, anyway? It couldn't be ...  
  
'Listen, Ryanne, I think I'd better ... go ... back to ...' His suggestion of heading back to the common room faded into nothing as Ryanne fixed him with the most penetrating stare he had ever seen.  
  
'Now that you've agreed to come here – '  
  
'I didn't agree to! You just – '  
  
Ryanne went on as if Remus had not interrupted her. 'Now you've agreed to come here, you have to stay for one teeny little thing.'  
  
'And that would be?' Remus asked cautiously.  
  
'Oh, just a little mark to remind you that you belong to us now,' Ryanne replied lightly. Remus took a step backwards.  
  
'No, really, I think I'll leave now ... I'm tired ... hungry ... have homework ... ' His pleas fell on deaf ears, however. Ryanne took him by the arm and pulled him over to a corner of the room, where a particularly heavily cloaked figure sat holding a wand. Remus tried to pull away, without success.  
  
The figure raised the wand and whispered something under his breath. The wand-tip turned a bright, vicious, burning red. Smoke furled from it. Remus cried out and tried to tear free from Ryanne as the unknown figure pushed up Remus's sleeve. Ryanne wrapped an arm around Remus's neck, not so tightly that he was unable to breathe but tightly enough so that he couldn't move. The burning wand-tip moved closer to the inside of his arm ... closer ... he could feel the heat from it ...  
  
'LET HIM GO!!'  
  
Remus jumped at the sound of Sirius's voice echoing through the dungeon room. So did Ryanne. Her grip on Remus's neck loosened, and he ducked free and bolted across the dungeon to Sirius. Sirius pulled Remus close to him. Remus looked up and saw that Sirius was pointing his wand at the group of cloaked people.  
  
'If you ever come near my best friend again, I swear I'll do more than just yell at you!' He roared at Ryanne while dragging Remus out of the dungeon. When they'd made it back up to the entrance hall, Sirius held Remus at an arm's length.  
  
'Are you okay?' Sirius put his hand on one side of Remus's face. He lifted the other hand and stroked Remus's hair. Sirius felt the slight pressure on his palm of Remus leaning into Sirius's touch. Remus nodded shakily.  
  
'I'm okay.'  
  
'You sure don't look okay ... you're white as a sheet,' Sirius commented in concerned tones.  
  
'I'm okay, Padfoot, really,' Remus replied, his voice stronger. Sirius let his hands fall to his sides, slightly embarrassed at what he had been doing. Remus gave him a small smile.  
  
'Did they hurt you?' Sirius asked, lifiting Remus's arm and pulling back the sleeve of his robes anxiously. Again, Remus shook his head.  
  
'I'm all right, stop worrying!' Remus said, smiling.  
  
'Okay ... just ... don't do that again, okay? Those were probably Voldemort-supporters, you know ... '  
  
'Ah, I thought so. Lucky you saved me, or I might have become one of them ... ' Remus shuddered. Sirius pulled him into a one-armed hug.  
  
'Please don't do anything like that again. You deserve so much more, don't go ruining all that goodness inside you for a pretty face, okay?' Sirius said, pushing a bit of light-brown hair out of Remus's face.  
  
'Okay,' Remus replied, in barely more than a whisper. 'I won't ... I promise.'  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Spare your heart, save your soul  
  
Don't drag your love across the coals  
  
Release ...  
  
Relax ...  
  
Let go  
  
And hey, now, let's recover your soul  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yeah, yeah, I know, short chapter. So sorry. I hope you liked it, still ... please review!! And the plot shall go on and become better! (I hope. I hope I don't suck and start ruining this story ... )  
  
I love the song that I used!! I highly recommend it, it's a really nice song. 


	4. Confusion and Confession

Hey peoples!!! Sorry this chapter's taken so long. I've been loaded down with homework and it sucks. Anyway...here's the next chapter!!  
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!  
  
Oh by the way, Lunaris, the song's called Recover Your Soul. Though I might switch to a different one soon, because I'm running out of lyrics.... in case anyone cares to know, the other song's called Healing Hands, also I might use Amazes Me. And Burning Buildings! Okay ... I'll be switching back and forth between them. There, that works.  
  
On with the chapter! ^_^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Remus sat in the History of Magic classroom, pretending vaguely to listen to Professor Binns's droning voice. In the back of his mind, he was running over his most recent moments with Sirius. Sirius had been acting slightly differently lately, shooting Remus small smiles that made Remus's breath catch in his chest and his face burn bright red.  
  
Remus came to himself for a few moments to copy down a name and date on his parchment, then sank back into the bliss of his thoughts.  
  
'Remus! Er ... earth to Moony, are you alive?'  
  
Once again, Remus was jerked out of his daydreams. James was standing beside his table, frowning ever so slightly. The bell had rung.  
  
'You're not yourself lately, why're you always daydreaming?' James inquired curiously. Remus stood up and gathered his books, apparently very interested in examining his timetable of the rest of the day, clearly stalling for time.  
  
'I ... I dunno, I've just got a lot on my mind,' He replied softly. Just then, Sirius strolled by, heading for the classroom door, beckoning to his two best friends to hurry up. As he passed he gave Remus another small smile. Remus felt his face burn and became even more seemingly fascinated with his timetable as he followed Sirius out of the classroom. James looked puzzled for a moment, and then a look of realisation dawned on his face. He glanced at Remus, whose eyes were glazed and unfocused as he stared at his timetable, occasionally stealing a look up at Sirius.  
  
James hurried up beside Sirius.  
  
'What's going on?' He asked flatly. Sirius frowned a bit and looked at James as they walked down the corridor with Remus trailing behind them.  
  
'What d'you mean, Prongs?'  
  
'I mean what's going on?' James repeated. 'With you and Remus.'  
  
Remus looked up to listen to this conversation that he was overhearing.  
  
'Nothing.'  
  
'But you've both been acting weird around each other lately. I'm not blind, Sirius, I can see it.'  
  
'See what?' Sirius's voice held a warning note now.  
  
'I can see how you look at him, and how he looks at you ... you know what I mean. I think that you care about him more than what you say you do ... you know how much he cares about you. More than just a friend, I'd say, by how he's acting.'  
  
'That isn't true, I don't care about him more than I say!'  
  
Hearing Sirius's reply, Remus knew he couldn't listen anymore. He sped up and hurried past his friends towards the common room. He gave the password and darted up the stairs to his dormitory, fell onto his bed and pulled the hangings shut.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
No room for conversation  
  
Cold stares and angry words  
  
Fall in pieces from our faces  
  
We read "do not disturb"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^* 'Remus?' Sirius's uncertain voice floated into the silent dormitory. Remus, lying behind his hangings, didn't reply.  
  
'Remus, what's wrong? Why are you hiding in here?'  
  
'What do you want?' Remus replied, his voice wavering.  
  
'I ... '  
  
'What?' Remus repeated, rather more aggressively than he had intended.  
  
'I just ... I just wanted to know where you were.'  
  
There was something in Sirius's voice that Remus hadn't heard before. It was uncertain, shaky, hesitant. Remus disregarded it.  
  
'I'm here. All right? I can take care of myself, you don't need to check up on me.'  
  
'Oh ... okay ... I'm sorry. I-I guess I'll leave now,' Sirius said softly. Remus heard the dormitory door click shut. He sat up and pulled back his hangings. Slowly, silently, he crept down the stone steps and out of the portrait hole. Nobody heard him and so no one tried to stop him. Quickening his pace, Remus made his way down to the dungeons.  
  
Pushing open the door, Remus stepped into the dungeon room he had visited involuntarily a few nights before. Again, it was filled with people in black, hooded cloaks. Ryanne emerged from the small crowd, a confused look on her face.  
  
'What are you doing here, Remus?' She inquired.  
  
'I ... well ... I've come back, because ... I want to join you.'  
  
'Really, now,' Ryanne said. She sounded pleased. 'That's perfect. Come over here.' She led Remus over to the corner. He knew what was coming this time. Ryanne pushed up his sleeve. He closed his eyes tightly.  
  
A moment later, Remus bit back a scream of pain as a white-hot pain seared against the skin on his arm. It only lasted a few moments, and when he looked down, there was a mark engraved on his skin. It was a skull, with a snake protruding from its mouth like a tongue. The Dark Mark.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
It used to be a sweet sensation  
  
No price too high for love  
  
Now I pay for this bitter taste  
  
And the price is not enough  
  
Such cruel sport for your kicks  
  
Such hard knocks on my heart  
  
How long before the pain ends  
  
Tell me where living starts  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Still grimacing in pain, Remus gingerly touched the burnt mark on his skin. He felt a different pain that seemed to take place somewhere in his chest. This was wrong; this was not good...  
  
'Perfect ... you're one of us now,' Ryanne said quietly. 'This is your family, your friends ... you're one of us.'  
  
'One of you ... ' Remus repeated softly. If his own friends were going to treat him like they were ... if Sirius was going to ignore how he felt ... then this was the only thing he could turn to.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I could have sworn we were all locked in  
  
Ain't that what you said  
  
I never knew it could hurt so bad  
  
When the power of love is dead  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'Sirius, where's Remus?' James asked, back in the Gryffindor common room.  
  
'Up in the dormitory,' Sirius replied in a dull voice. 'He seemed upset.'  
  
'I bet he overheard us ... ' James commented softly. 'Talking about him. Listen; tell me the truth about how you feel. I know this isn't like me, but you two are my best friends and ... well ... if there's something going on, you need to tell me.'  
  
Sirius nodded. 'You were right ... I do care about him, much more than just as a friend ... but ... I didn't want to tell you. I mean, what if you had hated me forever?'  
  
'You know I wouldn't do that, Padfoot.'  
  
'I know ... ' Sirius sighed. 'I was just being stupid. I'd better go apologise to Remus and ... and tell him.' James nodded approvingly. Sirius stood up and hurried into the dormitory. But Remus's hangings were open and his bed empty. Sirius stared for a moment, then tore back downstairs, almost falling in his haste.  
  
'James, Remus is gone!'  
  
'What?'  
  
'He's gone! And I bet I know where to ... ' Without further explanation, Sirius dashed out of the portrait hole and tore down the corridor with James at his heels. Panting, Sirius skidded to a halt outside of the dungeon room. He kicked the door open and flew inside the room with James still behind him.  
  
'Remus! REMUS, where are you?!' Sirius shouted. A cloaked figure emerged out of the crowd. He pulled down his hood, and there was Remus, pale and glaring.  
  
'What are you doing here, Sirius?' He asked softly, his voice shaking with suppressed hurt and anger.  
  
'To get you! You have to get out of here! This is wrong, Remus, why are you doing this?' Sirius replied, his voice rising as Remus's became quieter.  
  
'It's not like you really care. If you did ... if you really did, then you wouldn't have said what you did. I know that you know how I feel ... I can tell. And I can tell that you feel differently too, so why would you lie to James about it? And behind my back!'  
  
'Listen, Remus ... I'm sorry, okay? I just didn't want to tell James ... I was afraid.'  
  
'...Afraid?' Remus asked very quietly, frowning slightly and looking rather dreamily thoughtful for a moment.  
  
'Yes. But now I'm even more afraid. If you stay here, Remus, you're going to get hurt.' Sirius's voice wavered. Remus looked at him for a minute, then dropped the cloak from his shoulders and walked towards Sirius and James.  
  
Ryanne threw herself from the crowd of Death Eaters. 'You can't leave!' She shouted. 'You have sworn yourself to us, you are marked! If you leave you will only die!'  
  
'It would be better than being part of this,' Remus replied, wondering how he could ever have thought becoming a Death Eater a good idea. Blinded by hurt, he couldn't see what was right in front of his face.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
You're a cool little one  
  
My dark southern breeze  
  
Sweeps through my fingers  
  
And it amazes me  
  
Your envy shelters me  
  
Lay down your burden  
  
Mystery of ebony  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'Come on, Remus, let's get out of here,' James suggested, thoroughly confused by all the strange goings-on but glad to get away. Sirius put his arm around Remus's shoulders and led him out of the dungeon room, kicking the door closed behind him. Pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the door and murmered, 'Colloportus.' The door locked behind them.  
  
Walking back up to the Gryffindor tower with Sirius and James, Remus rubbed his arm where the Dark Mark was seared into his skin. After they climbed through the portrait hole, Sirius grabbed Remus's arm and examined the burn.  
  
'We can fix this, now, while it's still fresh,' James told Remus. 'But I'm not sure how to do it. Sirius knows, though.' Sirius pointed his wand at the burn mark and said:  
  
'Heiloena!'  
  
Immediately, the burn hissed slightly as though water was being poured on it, and slowly the marks began to disappear. They swirled closer and closer to the centre of the mark, then suddenly they weren't there anymore. The skin was quite smooth.  
  
Remus threw himself at Sirius and hugged him so tightly Sirius felt as though his own ribs might crack.  
  
'Thank you,' Remus muttered, his voice muffled by Sirius's shirt. 'They would have taken me. I'm sorry ... I promised you I wouldn't ... '  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Giving into the night time ain't no cure for the pain  
  
You gotta wade into the water, you gotta learn to live again  
  
And reach out for his healing hands  
  
Reach out for his healing hands  
  
There's a light, where the darkness ends  
  
Touch me now and let me see again  
  
Rock me now in your gentle healing hands  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'Don't worry about it,' Sirius replied softly. 'As long as you're okay.'  
  
Remus sighed shakily, a smile appearing on his face. He looked up at Sirius, a true smile playing across his lips. Then he turned and went up to the dormitory.  
  
'Aren't you going to tell him, Sirius?' James inquired.  
  
'I think he already knows,' Sirius replied.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wow, that was a mega-long chapter!! But I promise it's not over, way more things need to happen. I'm like...flooded with ideas, so the next chappie will come soon. This is my longest chapter yet! What did you think, hm? Review please!! ^___^ 


	5. Suspicions and Kisses

Hi everyone! I've updated ASAP, as you have requested!  
  
This chapter should have a bit (and by a bit I mean a bit of a lot) of Sirius/Remus...stuff. Heh. Yes. Also it may not be as long as the last one. Fluff warning!  
  
Hope you enjoy!  
  
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Sirius woke as abruptly as if somebody had hit him across the face. He didn't know why, but he felt as if he wouldn't be able to sleep again. Sirius pulled back his red velvet hangings and swung his feet onto the floor of the dormitory. Looking up, he realised that there was somebody sitting on the windowsill near his bed.  
  
'What's up?' Sirius asked softly. The figure by the window started and turned. Light from the three-quarter moon outside washed over his face. It was Remus.  
  
'Oh ... nothing much,' Remus replied quietly with a small sigh. Sirius got out of bed and walked over to his friend.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear  
  
Alone at night in a losing battle  
  
That perfect world is never clear  
  
You have to fight for the things that matter  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'Listen ... I know you're thinking about what you did today,' Sirius told Remus. 'And I know that you need time to think about it. If you want ... I'll just go back to bed and leave you alone.'  
  
'No ... please don't,' Remus implored. 'Stay here with me ... ' Sirius nodded. 'How did you heal the Mark, anyway, Sirius?' Remus asked curiously.  
  
'Well, like James said ... while it's still fresh, not healed over, a simple Healing Charm will do the trick. It only takes an hour or so to start healing over, and so it's lucky we found you when we did. You might've had that Mark forever ... ' Sirius trailed off.  
  
'Well ... thanks. I don't know why I went there ... I just wasn't thinking. Tension had been building up in me for so long, what with how I feel ... and not being able to tell you ... I just finally had to do something ... and that was about the stupidest thing I could have done. So thanks for bringing me back to my senses.'  
  
Sirius smiled and sat on the windowsill across from Remus. The moonlight shining on Remus's face threw shadows and light across the skin, and Remus seemed to glow. Sirius reached out and brushed a strand of light-brown hair out of Remus's face. Remus avoided Sirius's eyes.  
  
Sirius leaned forward so that his nose was nearly touching Remus's. Remus raised his golden eyes and looked into Sirius's dark ones. Remus felt as if time had frozen as Sirius's lips touched his. Soft and searching, it was the most amazing kiss Remus had ever felt. Sirius's hands ran through Remus's hair, entangling themselves in it.  
  
After what seemed like an hour, they broke apart. Remus couldn't do anything but keep his eyes locked on Sirius's face. Sirius just smiled.  
  
'I think we should get back to bed.' Sirius slid off the windowsill and walked over to his dormitory bed. He crawled under the covers and closed his eyes, but before he had fallen asleep, he heard Remus's soft footsteps padding closer. Sirius opened his eyes slightly just in time to see Remus crawl into bed beside him and curl up against Sirius's body. Sirius blinked, astonished for a moment, but then wrapped his arms around Remus's warm figure and closed his eyes. They both sighed softly and let sleep take them.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Spare your heart, save your soul  
  
Don't drag your love across the coals  
  
Find your feet and your fortune can be told  
  
Release ....  
  
Relax ....  
  
Let go  
  
And hey, now, let's recover your soul  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'WAKE UP!!!'  
  
Sirius's eyes fluttered open at the sunlight streaming across his face. The first thing he saw was Remus, his face golden in the morning light. Then he saw James, leaning over him and grinning widely.  
  
'Morning, Padfoot!'  
  
Remus yawned and opened his eyes blearily.  
  
'James, what're you doing?' He muttered groggily. 'S'early.'  
  
'Actually, Moony, it's eleven-thirty,' James replied conversationally. Remus yelped and started to jump out of bed, became entangled in the sheets and fell with a thud to the floor.  
  
Sirius climbed calmly out of bed, grinning. He and Remus changed into their robes and followed James out of the dormitory. The common room was full of people lounging lazily in rays of sunlight on the sunny Saturday morning.  
  
'Time for breakfast!' James exclaimed, his usual cheerful self. The trio hurried down to the Great Hall. They took their seats at the Gryffindor table and helped themselves to breakfast. Sirius and James looked at each other.  
  
'GO!' They shouted, and started a furious eating contest. Remus watched, torn between amusement and disgust.  
  
Little did the three friends know, as they laughed and joked at the breakfast table, that somebody was watching them. She stood outside the doorway into the Great Hall, her eyes glued malevolently on Remus.  
  
'A lifetime of service or death ... ' She murmered, before breaking her gaze and turning on her heel. With a swish of her cloak, she was gone down into the dungeons.  
  
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AAAAHHHHHH such a short a pointless chapter!!!! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!! *runs away*  
  
*returns with a nice smile* Please review!!!  
  
*runs away again* 


	6. Threats and Agreements

Gah! This is the second fanfic chapter I've done within the space of two hours.... must sleep soon....  
  
Anyway.  
  
Thanks for the reviews, I hope you like this chapter!!  
  
If you have any suggestions, complaints, criticism (possibly even compliments!) please review and tell me! I always like to hear it. :-)  
  
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Remus hurried down the corridor towards the front doors, on his way to his Herbology lesson. He was trying to cram one of his larger books into his book bag when he was pushed onto the wall, given a large kiss and then released to see Sirius's grinning face. Remus turned bright red and looked around quickly to see if anyone had spotted that. Thankfully, no eyes were turned their way.  
  
'Sirius, what do you think you're doing?' Remus asked, but with a trace of a grin flitting across his face. Sirius shrugged.  
  
'Displaying my affections?' Sirius smiled innocently. Remus rolled his eyes and dragged Sirius by his arm through the corridor. He bumped into someone and muttered 'sorry' absentmindedly. Then he noticed who it was.  
  
Ryanne Asher. And she looked like she could have shot sparks out of her eyes.  
  
'Come on, Sirius, come on, hurry up!' Remus urged quietly. He pulled Sirius out to the greenhouses, where they met up with James.  
  
'What's up, Moony? You look anxious,' James asked as they entered the greenhouse.  
  
'It was Ryanne. I saw her in the Entrance Hall ... and boy, she did NOT look pleased to see me.'  
  
'Three guesses why, and the first two don't count,' Sirius interjected sarcastically.  
  
'Shut up a moment, Padfoot,' James hissed.  
  
'Shouldn't we tell a teacher about that group of Death Eaters?' Remus asked anxiously, checking to make sure nobody was listening to them. As the students had just started to learn how to tend to a teething Venomous Tentacula, most were very preoccupied with stopping the plants biting them with their vicious teeth and nobody was eavesdropping.  
  
'I reckon we should, who wouldn't?' replied Sirius, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
'Don't you use your brain, you prat?' James asked Sirius. 'If we snitched on them, they'd be way angrier than they already are. And you know how they are ... it's all "Serve Voldemort forever or die." They'd kill us for sure! Especially Remus ... '  
  
Remus shivered. Sirius laid a hand on his shoulder.  
  
'But we need to report them ... think what they could do – '  
  
'Boys! Get to work!' The Herbology teacher bustled over to them, and the three immediately began to work with their Venomous Tentacula.  
  
Sirius flopped onto the couch in the Gryffindor common room. James followed suit, and Remus sank into an armchair. It was dinner time, so everybody was down in the Great Hall and the common room was empty.  
  
'So what are we going to do about this?' Remus asked his two best friends.  
  
'We're going to tell someone and we're going to do it now,' Sirius replied flatly.  
  
'But Sirius – '  
  
'Don't argue, James, somebody's got to know. Now let's go.' Sirius stood up and walked over to the portrait hole. James and Remus looked at each other defeatedly and got up to follow Sirius. They hurried down the corridors.  
  
'Who are we going to tell?' Remus asked, walking quickly along behind Sirius. 'Won't they all be in dinner?'  
  
'We're going to tell Dumbledore. If he's not there, we'll sit outside his office until he gets there.'  
  
'Sirius – '  
  
'James, stop protesting – '  
  
'But Sirius!'  
  
Sirius turned around. His eyes narrowed and he stepped automatically in front of Remus.  
  
'What do you want?' James asked Ryanne aggressively. He too stepped in front of Remus. Ryanne looked back and forth between them, two dark-haired figures standing in front of the lighter-haired one.  
  
'Fancy you can protect him from us?' She asked softly. 'Let me tell you something. You can never protect him. We'll get him, mark my words. It's a lifetime of service or death for us ... and you can guess which one he's getting. And if any of you even think about telling a teacher what we're up to ... you'll all meet the same fate as him,' she hissed venomously, pointing at Remus. Then, quite abruptly, she turned away and swept off down the corridor. Sirius, James and Remus stared after her.  
  
James broke the silence.  
  
'That was weird.'  
  
***  
  
'We're in a real mess now,' James commented. 'They'll know if we tell what they're up to. They'll try to get Remus anyway, and if we try and stop them they'll get us all.'  
  
Once again, the three were sitting in the common room. They were supposed to be practicing Transfiguring a plant pot into a parrot for homework, though none had any idea as to why anyone would want to do such a thing. James waved his wand at his plant pot. It gave a loud squawk and sprouted a parrot beak.  
  
Remus leaned his head back on his chair, closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. 'I just wish we had some option ... ' He rubbed his eyes.  
  
'Moony, you're looking a bit pale ... you feeling all right?' James asked.  
  
'Full moon tomorrow night,' Sirius supplied, pointing out the window to the moon, which had just a tiny sliver cut off of the side.  
  
'Oh yeah,' said James, realisation dawning on his face. 'Well, at least they can't get us tomorrow night.'  
  
'Yeah ... ' Remus sighed. 'They can't get us when we're all animals ... ' Thinking about the next night when they'd all be running around the grounds in their Animagus forms (or werewolf form, in Remus's case), Remus absentmindedly waved his wand in the air. A jet of sparks flew from it and hit Sirius. Suddenly a pair of black dog ears sprouted right out of Sirius's hair. He didn't notice. Remus raised his eyebrows and immediately hid his wand.  
  
Sirius reached up to scratch his head to find that there were dog ears sticking out of it. He immediately glared at James.  
  
'What?' asked James, looking guilty as always even though he really didn't do anything this time. Sirius rolled his eyes, then waved his own wand. A jet of sparks flew from it and hit James. A large pair of antlers appeared on James's head.  
  
'Guys, stop fooling around,' Remus insisted. 'We need to figure out what we're going to do!'  
  
'Okay, okay,' Sirius sighed. He waved his wand and both the dog ears and the antlers disappeared. 'I say, after the full moon, we tell Dumbledore what's going on no matter what the risks are.'  
  
'Sounds like a plan,' said James with a smile. 'Agreed?'  
  
'Agreed,' The other two chorused.  
  
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Sort of short. Anyway the next one should...WILL...be more interesting. ^_^ Please review!!! 


	7. NOTE

**Hi! Remember this story? I'm sorry, but I believe I no longer have the time nor willpower to finish it.**

**So this is the end of Alone At Night in a Losing Battle/Recover Your Soul.**

**That is, of course, unless enough of you protest strongly enough. I'm sort of daring you to do so. If you don't you don't care about this fic and didn't like it much anyway.**

**If you DO...it shall be continued. Mu-hu-ahahaha! _But if nobody reads it anyway there isn't any point._**


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